I know. I know.

Another person is talking about Colleen Hoover.

And it has to be THE book that was forcefully shoved down everyone’s throats on TikTok.

I am sorry. I promise to make it worth your while.

This one’s for you, Oliver.

As many of you know, Colleen Hoover’s “It Ends With Us” is the epitome of TikTok books. It prompted many people to start reading because (let’s be real here) reading only became cool thanks to the COVID-19 lockdowns. We all admittedly had way too much time on our hands.

The reason I am exploring this book again is that the novel is more than just a tale of romance; it is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the courage required to break free from a cycle of pain. Hoover seamlessly weaves together themes of love, sacrifice, and growth, challenging societal norms and breaking the boundaries of conventional romance novels. With sensitivity and candor, she explores the complexities of human nature and forces the reader to confront the sometimes harsh realities of life.

The story unfolds in Boston, where Lily Bloom has built a life for herself after leaving her small-town roots behind. As she navigates the challenges of opening a floral store, she meets the enigmatic Ryle Kincaid, a neurosurgeon who sets her world ablaze with his charm. Their relationship develops quickly, promising a bright future brimming with love.

However, beneath the surface lies a haunting secret that threatens to shatter Lily’s reality. As she grapples with her past and the complexities of her present, she finds solace in her father’s journals. Lily uncovers the hidden truths behind her parent’s marriage and its surprising parallel to her present relationship. “It Ends with Us” truly opens the reader’s eyes to the realities of romantic relationships.

Once again, as the internet’s favorite English teacher, I have to spend some time exploring the themes of this novel. So buckle up. I promise to make this short and sweet.

There will be spoilers ahead so look away if you have not read this book.

Complexities of Love

“Fifteen seconds. That’s all it takes to completely change everything about a person.”

Lily Bloom

The central complexity depicted in the book lies in Lily’s struggle to understand her own feelings and navigate her romantic relationship. The quote highlights how it is not easy to stop loving someone because they cause pain. Just as Ryle’s love is toxic to her, her love for Ryle is dangerous, working against her best interests. This impulse lures her to love Ryle and forgive him when in reality she should be prioritizing herself and her own needs. As a teenager, Lily could not understand how her mother would put up with her abusive father. She felt the decision to leave an abusive man was as clear as day, and yet, as an adult, she finally understands her mother’s struggles.

Domestic Abuse and the Cycle of Violence

“Sometimes it’s the one who loves you who hurts you the most”

Lily Bloom

The main focus of domestic abuse is between Lily and Ryle; however, what I like about this quote is that we eventually find out how other loved ones within Lily’s circle also inevitably hurt her as well.

Take Marshall for example. He is Ryle’s brother-in-law and his best friend. Their bond for each other is strong, to the point that he names his daughter after Ryle. However, their bond affects the way he responds to Ryle’s relationship with Lily. Later in the story, Lily finds out she is pregnant with Ryle’s baby and wishes to keep it a secret. Despite promising her he would keep quiet, he quickly breaks this promise by telling Ryle.

“I had no idea he was coming home early, Lily. Ryle texted and asked for my help. He specifically told me not to say anything to you or Issa. Please don’t let her divorce me, I’m simply an innocent bystander.”

The power Marshall’s social circle has over him showcases how he is willing to prioritize himself and his relationship with Ryle at the expense of Lily. Furthermore, throughout the novel, he is a lot more retreated regarding Lily and Ryle’s relationship. His words and actions show his belief that their abusive relationship is a private matter and does not pertain to him; instead, he is “an innocent bystander”.

Ambition and Self-Determination

Every main character finds solace and meaning in their drive for success. As teenagers, Lily and Atlas both explore their talents that eventually lead them to success and future careers. Atlas illustrates his skills in the kitchen when he makes Lily the best chocolate chip cookies she has ever had. He eventually pursues a career as a chef, working his way out of homelessness and finally opening his own restaurant. Part of Atlas’ drive does derive from his love for Lily, to provide her with a secure life. However, I like to think that his main drive stems from his homelessness as a teenager. No one would take care of him and he would often end his days with an empty stomach. Cooking became his solace as feeding others became his act of healing.

As an adult, Lily similarly develops a talent that later becomes her profession. Growing up, Lily turned to the garden as an escape from the reality behind her parents’ abusive relationship. She finds gardening as a place of comfort and control to create beauty in the face of ugliness. Later, her inheritance following her father’s death allows her to open a floral shop which eventually becomes her place of solace in the face of Ryle’s abuse.

Even Ryle’s career is highlighted in the novel. He is very protective of his profession and tells Lily about his aspiration to become the best neurosurgeon in the world. However, he also grows exponentially more obsessed with Lily. Yet, he ensures to focus on his work and always keeps his obsessive love separate. The theme of ambition and self-determination is clearly a solace for each of the characters from their obsessive and volatile love.

Criticism

Now, while the novel has received widespread acclaim and praise from readers (me included), I feel obligated to mention some major criticisms.

Don’t get me started on the movie production. We can leave that for another time.

Personally, I found Hoover could have done a better job at portraying an abusive relationship. The resolution to Lily and Ryle’s relationship felt simplistic and rushed. No real concrete action was taken against Ryle, aside from the separation. I personally do not think a separation is the only solution to a complicated relationship such as an abusive one. The victim requires a lot of assistance whether it is financial, psychological, or even childcare.

On top of that, it felt as if Lily was deterred from taking legal action against Ryle. For one, when Lily confided in her close friend, Alyssa, she responds with: “As his sister, I wish more than anything that you could find a way to forgive him. But as your best friend, I have to tell you that if you take him back, I will never speak to you again.” This excerpt illustrates Alyssa’s conflicted point of view and flawed opinions.

On the other hand, Lily does eventually confide in her mother, Jenny, for some insight, as she has experience with domestic abuse too. This time, Jenny does encourage her to leave Ryle which eventually helps her on her healing journey. However, in the end, no one in her circle truly helps and supports Lily against her abuser.

Lastly, I was extremely surprised to see Atlas’ lack of involvement in Lily’s abusive relationship. Considering Atlas is himself a victim of domestic abuse, I wish Hoover did not leave Lily as the primary decision-maker but rather with an appropriate support system like Atlas. This way, the reader will understand the importance of confiding in close friends or relatives when faced with a difficult situation like Lily’s.

Conclusion

“It Ends with Us” is overall a good book that opens your eyes to the reality of relationships. Prepare to be captivated by this novel as Colleen Hoover takes you on an emotional rollercoaster, reminding us that sometimes, the most profound and transformative love stories begin with the strength to say “Enough is enough”.